


Software Update

by lesbianettes



Series: Spare Parts [3]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Robot!Buck, Trauma, bot!au, glitching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:09:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29829573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianettes/pseuds/lesbianettes
Summary: Buck contends with his software update and what it means for himself... and for Eddie
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: Spare Parts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170023
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	Software Update

Buck gets better at taking care of Christopher. He’s dutifully informed to use the compression sleeve for three weeks, to ensure that the silicon fully cures. The silicon sinks down to his endoskeleton, a mark of how badly he glitched at the slightest provocation. It makes his arm stiff, and his hand not as coordinated as they used to be. He used to be steady and precise enough that he could perform medical procedures, though now he sometimes twitches badly enough to spill when making pancakes for Christopher in the mornings. 

He learns when Chris needs help, and when to let him figure things out on his own, and gets into the habit of laying our clothes on his bed while Christopher eats. It’s not that much different, he thinks, from EOL, so long as he remembers Chris to be a capable child. He sometimes catches himself doing things like cutting tylenol in half to make it easier to swallow, or disinfecting his hands so often that his skin would be raw were he human. 

Slowly, however, he learns to take care of Eddie, too. Eddie sleeps poorly, so Buck reads to him at night on the couch until he gets drowsy and needs to be herded toward his room (which Buck avoids because of the mirror). He cooks for him and does his laundry. He tidies his home and irons his uniform. He even plants an herb garden in planters on the porch, which Christopher loves to participate in caring for. There is a morning where Buck adjusts Eddie’s badge, and it feels so much like that kiss that he jerks his hand back before he can manage to burn Eddie for what feels like the thousandth time. 

On a balmy summer morning, Buck sits with Christopher on the couch, the two of them playing video games (Buck lets Chris win), and he realizes he might be the closest thing to happy that a bot can feel. There’s no anticipation of abandonment, no fear that he will glitch. Instead, he feels warm. Content. 

“Buck, can I ask you a question?”

Buck looks at him out of the corner of his eye, letting his character drive off the track in the racing game. “Of course. Joys of being a computer,” he lowers his voice, “I know everything.”

“Do you think my dad like-likes you?”

He pauses. “What?”

“I just-” Christopher pauses the game and turns to look at Buck, drawing his legs up on the couch and crossing them. He looks infinitely small and impossibly old all at once. “I haven’t seen him this happy since Mom left.”

Oh. Oh, Buck is not equipped to deal with this. He frantically runs a search for information about parental abandonment, mostly coming up with research about how it affects the kid long-term. This is not something he can fix. The panic must show on his face because Christopher grabs his hand and squeezes it the way Eddie often does to Buck’s shoulder in reassurance. 

“It’s okay to be scared, kid,” he says solemnly. It sounds like he’s repeating something Eddie would have said to him. “But you make my dad so happy. You make me happy too, but I think it’s a different kind of happy.”

Buck genuinely doesn’t know what to do with that, so he just nods. Christopher seems satisfied and unpauses the game. Back to racing, it seems. But Buck can’t shake the child’s words, no matter how hard he tries, and it occurs to him that maybe he doesn’t want to. To be “like-liked” by Eddie is something that Buck isn’t allowed to have, but he had the slightest taste of in that kiss that glitched him out horribly. 

He can’t stop thinking about it all day, especially when Eddie comes home while Buck slices up the pizza he ordered- a Friday treat- for Christopher. Eddie stops to kiss the top of Christopher’s head on his way to drop off his duffel bag in his room, brushing by Buck in a way that warms him on his path by. There’s pizza plenty for Eddie too, so Buck serves him up three slices on another plate. He’s always hungry after work. 

“How are my two favorite boys?” Eddie asks. Buck looks down while Chris answers. He feels a little strange being described as Eddie’s favorite anything, even if it’s mostly just an affectionate joke. Unfortunately, Eddie doesn’t let him avoid the conversation, and turns to him once Chris is done relaying the events of their day. “How about you, Buck? Any glitches?”

Right. It’s to make sure he can still look after Eddie’s son. “Just the usual twitches,” he reports. 

Eddie smiles that handsome grin of his and says he’s glad Buck isn’t in too much distress today. Some days the glitches are much worse than others, and though he is always able to take care of Christopher, it can be hard. A day has passed with no sensation or movement in one of his legs. He simply dragged it along like the deadweight it was and sat when possible. He knows his prototype machinery is failing. He’s just not ready for it. He doesn’t want to be scrapped.

“I contacted your manufacturers,” Eddie says. Buck’s head twitches slightly. Another glitch. “I was hoping they’d have some ideas on how to fix you.”

“Scrap?” Buck asks, resigned. He’s just a prototype, after all. “Please don’t scrap me, Eddie.”

“No, never.”

Christopher looks between the two of them in concern but doesn’t say anything.

“They’re not sure what’s going on, or why you’ve updated again. They want you back for a time just to learn what’s wrong and -”

“No.”

Eddie blinks at him, surprised. Buck never says no to him, never disagrees with him, never dares to assert his own opinions. He feels instantly guilty, but he knows what that means, and tells Eddie as much. It means they’ll disassemble Buck where Eddie can’t see him and send a replacement. They’ll send a childcare Bot from the Buckley line, one that will be too stiff and heavily programmed to take care of Christopher. While Buck’s motives are fairly selfish, he couldn’t bear the idea of Christopher not being taken good care of. 

“I’d rather see the creepy mechanic.” 

“What’s wrong with the mechanic?”

He shrugs. He can’t explain it well enough. “He just gives me a bad feeling. I think he wants to scrap me.”

“You think everyone wants to scrap you.”

Buck doesn’t argue with him no matter how much he wants to and serves Chris another slice of pizza. Eddie doesn’t know he’s updated again. He busies himself storing the leftovers and scrubbing the sink until it gleams reflectively and he can see himself. His eyes look brighter. It’s the computations running across them he knows, overlaying his vision and analyzing all the input. His processors have become more aggressive about it in this version of himself. They zero in on Eddie when Buck glances at him. They bring up the memory of his lips and Buck wishes he could kiss him again. 

It would break him. 

Instead he continues to clean, and tries not to panic when Eddie hugs him from behind and tucks his face against Buck’s shoulder. “I worry about you,” he whispers. “I just don’t want you to break.”

“Too late for that.”

“I’m sorry. About the kiss.”

Buck opens his mouth and shuts it again. He wants to tell Eddie not to apologize, and to do it again. His programming shuts that down. It makes him step away from Eddie, even as Buck struggles to stay put, and forces a wry smile onto his face.

“ _ Prototype, _ ” his programming says helpfully.

“Back to Evan Buckley?”

“Buck,” Buck says. “ _ Evan Buckley v3.0,” _ his programming argues. 

“Three?”

“ _ Evan Buckley updated 3 February 2021. Evan Buckley is a general caretaking robot. Evan Buckley is a prototype. Evan Buckley is not a human.” _

Eddie seems surprised he updated so long ago without making it clear, but does not comment on it. Instead he takes Buck’s hand and holds it. He’s learned by now how much Buck hates his programming, especially when it takes over and speaks for him, so this small offer of comfort is very much appreciated- maybe more than Eddie will ever know. 

“What caused the update?”

_ “Evan Buckley is not a human.” _

“You say that a lot.”

Buck looks back to his reflection in the kitchen sink. He looks human. He could be human. He  _ wants _ to be human, but such a thing is nowhere near possible. So he must continue on as a Bot, and he does. He lives with it. He breathes in and out, though his body does not need to- a little program that makes him seem more real and comforting. He doesn’t think he did that before his most recent update. 

“I know you’re not a human, Buck, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

Buck doesn’t know what to do with that, so he doesn’t respond. Eddie holds onto him for a moment longer before breaking away. Left alone, Buck forces his gaze away from his muddy reflection and continues cleaning. He knows he’s breaking, and that his type has changed from EOL to general caretaking, but not why or how to stop it. He’s broken. 

Later that night, when Christopher is in bed, Buck joins Eddie on the couch to watch a movie. It’s another old one, but Buck can barely pay attention to it because when he sits down, Eddie immediately puts an arm around him and pulls him close. He does not comment on how warm Buck is. 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr/twitter/insta @milkymarjan


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